Quick One

So an update for anyone who read yesterday's blog . . . I am feeling much more positive today. It probably helped to have some visitors today. :) Anyway, I am feeling renewed and ready to tackle these next 10 days until the c-section. Bring it on!

The Patient Knows Best. Or is it the Docter?

I have a confession. The last several days have been the same. I start having contractions and they give me Nyphetapine. (sp?) It lowers my blood pressure and in turn stops the contractions. But now that I am past the 34 week mark I am so tempted to not tell the nurse I'm having contractions.

There's a danger in being a long-term patient. You tend to start questioning what's being done and if you want to exercise your right to say no. For example, I've been off of an i.v. for many weeks because I've been stable. This week was a little crazy though, and now I have to have one. I hate the way my arm looks; all full of poke marks and bumpy and scarred. I would really like to refuse the next one. But am I really using my brain when I think like that, or is it just emotional? I think I know the answer.

The hardest part of this whole situation has been a loss of rights. There's no privacy anymore; I can't choose when to have housekeeping or the dietician or the physical therapist walk through the door. I'm being told how to eat and that I need to eat more almost daily. I can't make things better at home or be there to comfort my kids. So yeah, maybe a little control is what I'm seeking. It's a dangerous game to play with your health, when the only reason you're refusing what's best is because you need to make sure your voice is still heard.

Turquoise

So Pantone, the big color gurus, announced this month that turquoise is the color of 2010. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I doubt we'd use this color in any of our decorating. I am thinking of doing a series of paintings though with this being the main color. Not sure if they would sell better with it being trendy or not.

When I was a little girl I went through a phase when I LOVED pink, purple, and turquoise together. Maybe that's why I'm having a hard time accepting it as a grown-up hue. :) What do you think? Love it or hate it?

I Like

I think our nursery needs this clock. Isn't it the cutest? Even the color works. I bet I could make one similar but probably not here at the hospital. It would just take the clockworking parts, a round piece of wood, and some paint or vinyl. And I bet it could be made for a lot less than the $69 price tag.

Oh, bedrest. It gives you way too much time to imagine the possibilities!

(picture courtesy Land of Nod)

Date Night

I have the best husband ever! You know how opposites attract? Well, I tend to be very, very frugal -- Ethan thinks sometimes to the point of being ridiculous. (And he's probably right!)

Today he called me and said he had been looking up activities for someone stuck on bedrest to do, and one that he thought would work for us would be to have a date night with dinner brought in from a restaurant. He asked how I might like having some Goodwood pulled pork . It sounds heavenly! But I couldn't help but be concerned if we had the money for it. I told him I'd rather save our date until I was home again and healed and we could have a celebration out. So he says, why not do both? I was really struggling with this and he pointed out that maybe with all that I've been through the past couple months it was okay to spend $10 on dinner. I like his logic. I'm grateful that he sometimes pushes me to have a little fun!

P.S. Just in case pulled pork sounds good to you too, you can get a pound off the Goodwood a la carte menu for just $10. It is delicious!

Sad

My kids all left the hospital crying tonight. It made me cry too. The one that kind of broke me was Allison. She has been a little quiet at times, but she has been so strong since I've been here. Tonight I didn't even realize she was sitting there with tears rolling down her face because she was in a chair that was out of my line of sight. Ethan noticed and signaled me and I had her come cuddle up on the bed, then she and I were crying and Emily was crying and Ryan too. I told the kids it was time to go home with Daddy and Emily said, "I don't want to leave!" I guess Ryan has been saying "no mama" a lot too at home. Most of the time I think the kids are doing really well but I guess tonight I saw a different side. I'm sure they were tired too, but I know this is wearing on all of us.

Our Playroom/Schoolroom

I have been thinking quite a bit about some projects I want to dive into once I'm home again. (I obviously have amnesia when it comes to remembering life with a newborn!) One area I want to tackle is our playroom/schoolroom. Right now we have four adorable little school desks but are only using two. I have a tall skinny bookcase that holds all of our school books and one of those play shelves that holds containers. Usually kids keep smaller toys in them but we use it to hold scrap paper, writing utensils, glue, flashcards, etc. This and our digital piano fill out the "school" part of the room.

I looked for some pics for inspiration, but most of the homeschool rooms I found had so much clutter. I like this clean and simple corner here, (but you know books have to be hiding somewhere outside the scope of the lens!)



Here's a picture from a friend's house. I love how she has a bulletin board for each workspace, and the shelves above are a great idea as well.

The other part of our room is dedicated to play. We have a huge dollhouse, slide, rescue hero docking station, Ryan's car collection, and some indoor riding toys. It's a big room, but I'm starting to feel that we need a plan!

P.S. The whole space I'm trying to figure out just so happens to be what everyone sees when they first walk into our house!

No More New Bed

As much as I enjoyed sleeping in my bounce house last night, all good things must come to an end. I noticed today the air kept inflating under the middle of my back, and how many of you women who have been pregnant before think that sounds comfortable? I sure as heck didn't. I'm not sure what the reasoning was on that one. :) Also the only sheets to fit the bed kept slipping off the top and I felt myself sliding down quite a bit whenever I tried to sit up. Made for an interesting few hours!

Thanks to everyone who left appetizer ideas. I am eager to make and try all of those yummies. Can't say yet what they're for, but stayed tuned for updates!

New Bed

My nurse today was so excited. She remembered seeing these air mattress beds that looked really comfortable at another hospital, so she ordered one for me. The words air mattress don't particularly scream comfortable to me, but I was curious. It's not too bad! It can heat up and even weigh people also, which makes me wonder if you have to throw all the pillows and blankets off to get a proper weight. It's kind of like sleeping in a bounce house. I couldn't stop laughing over the squishiness the first time I climbed in. :)

I am looking for some frugal appetizer recipes right now. Also, without regard to cost, what appetizers do you like best?

The One Who Bears Our Burdens

Throughout this trial there have been times when both Ethan and I have had a heavy heart. We try to really focus on the positive but of course some days are more difficult than others. After reading recently in Numbers, I was encouraged to see how God answered Moses when Moses was at his wit's end. The entire passage is contained in Numbers, verses 11-17, but what particularly stood out to me was this:

Moses: "I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now -"
God: ". . . and I will take of the Spirit that is on you and put the Spirit on them. They will help you carry the burden of the people so you do not have to carry it alone."

Ethan and I found comfort in this knowing that we can cry out to God when we are overwhelmed. He hears us and he does answer. Look at how he has taken our burden and given us people who have helped us carry it! (Many of you have been part of that.) What an amazing Father we have!

A favorite Bible verse of mine is found in Psalms:

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Saviour, who daily bears our burdens."
Psalm 68:19 (emphasis mine)

Do you have a burden you've been bearing alone?

Another Tuesday

I ordered my entire dinner off the kids menu tonight. :) The menu here is very substantial, but I think after 50 days or so (just guessing . . . no calendar in front of me), it will be nice to change things up.

Had another heart episode today. Thank goodness it's just being brought on by the pregnancy. It was so strange, I was just laying in bed and hadn't gotten up for at least an hour when all of a sudden I felt like I couldn't breathe and my heart was racing (later found out it was over 200 when normally it lies around 90 or so). There was all kinds of commotion in here for a bit, with a respitory person and a crisis nurse and and heart person all sticking things on me. They did an EKG and just like before, it didn't show anything abnormal. I guess so far my body has self-corrected every time the heart thing has happened, but I still don't like going through it!

My mom came by with Allie while the two little ones were sleeping. Allie played the Nintendo DS my brother got for us for Christmas (he had to explain what it was to me because I had no clue what to do with it!) After a while I told her to get off of it and come cuddle with me, which she did, and at that point my mom tried to play. It was too funny watching Grandma play and listen to her comments; Allie and I were cracking up. It was great to laugh so hard again.

Lucky Me!

So try not to be jealous friends . . . last night I got a massage from one of the nurses who is a certified massage therapist. I didn't even know about this, but when you are in the hospital long-term for a pregnancy they try to offer one a couple of times a week. This particular nurse had been out on medical leave and just started back, so they let me know about it. This probably goes without saying, but it was amazing! I am so grateful for this service. She's going to come every Sunday and Wednesday night.

So again, try not to be jealous. I know you all want to live like ladies of leisure too, but only a few of us lucky girls get to do it. So sorry! :)

Day Umpteen in the Hospital

I've lost track of how many days I've spent here, but it seems to be a lot. :) The nurses tempted me with the thoughts of doing an ultrasound recently and I happily agreed. So today we got to see our little girl, who didn't look so little anymore on the screen. The great news is she seems to be developing nicely. We were able to see some of the umbilical cord and it looks okay. Of course I've been more sensitive to umbilical cord problems even though it's so unlikely we would lose another baby the same way.

What else happened today? A nurse brought in the movie "Up" from her own collection because I mentioned wanting to watch it for a family night tomorrow. The nurses are so funny; they offered to let us use another room just to have a change of pace, but they all look the same. It doesn't really seem like it's a different room at all! But in the room I'm in now the only audio comes from the bed, where in the first room I was in the audio came from the bed and the tv. It makes a big difference if you consider for all of us to hear (where I am now) we're going to have to cram five people on my bed. :) (Three who can be very wiggly!)

Finally some pictures!

We have baby bedding for the nursery! Thanks to my dear friend Traci who took pictures at two children's secondhand stores and let me pick what I liked best. It makes me so happy that our little one will have a room ready for her when it's time for us to finally leave the hospital. A couple of friends have volunteered to help paint; if you'd like to be involved just let me know. The more the merrier! :)

In Appreciation . . .

Wow. Labor and delivery nurses have to be some of the nicest ones around. I've been attempting to get some scrapbooking done and had mentioned to the nurse this morning that I forgot how hard it is to cut accurate circles without help. (I traced a circle on a picture using a disposable cup yesterday, but when I cut it the results were less than perfect!) She immediately said she'd see if I could borrow her daughter's circle cutter, even mentioning that her daughter could probably bring it by this afternoon! So thoughtful. A couple of other nurses have been kind enough to offer to bring movies or books, and one offered to take my laundry home to wash the other night. (I didn't take her up on it since Ethan came the next day.) We've always been pleased with the staff the other times we've delivered babies; now I'm just amazed. :)

Last night I watched hours of "Alias" uninterrupted. It was wonderful.

(Okay Sarah, that last sentence was just for you!)

Hmm . . .

I am the only patient on the floor right now. Even though I never see anyone else, it is a very lonely feeling.

Food, Birthdays, and Fun

You have a lot of time to waste in the hospital. Thanks to my friend Becky's blog, I learned today that my birthday is also National Chocolate Mint Day! I am exceptionally happy with this report and grateful that my birthday didn't fall on some other day like National Mincemeat Day or something. :) Want to check yours out? Here's the link:

p.s. What's your day? Inquiring minds want to know!

Baby Names

People keep asking if we have a name for this baby. We still don't, but I came across the neatest name meaning yesterday. The name is Samara, and the meaning is "God has protected". Isn't that awesome? After this pregnancy I definitely feel that God has protected both the baby and me. :)

Any good name suggestions? Something that goes well with Allison, Emily, and Ryan would be helpful. We have some picked out but are really up in the air on the final decision.