Before and After

When we bought our house two years ago, we knew there were lots of little changes we wanted to make. One happened this last weekend. We took our flimsy, cheap-o handrail and replaced it with a custom-built one by Ethan.

Before:

And this is the after.

Much more sturdy.

I wasn't sure about the deep stain color at first but now love it!

Evidence of the Creator

I read an intriguing article yesterday that I wanted to share. Every time I think about how intricate each living cell is it reminds me of our master designer. Obviously, not everyone interprets scientific discoveries the same way. It just makes me smile. For the full story, go here.

Husbands Rock!

Yesterday was a little crazy because Bubba's aide called in sick. The boy kept me BUSY. I must have sounded a little worn-out on the phone because my sweet husband offered to pick up dinner on the way home. He surprised us with steak, french fries, and corn. And that man can cook a mean steak!

After dinner we had another surprise - Legends of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole came in on Netflix, AND we got to watch it with the projector! (As part of Ethan's job he occasionally has to test projectors and the like.) The whole family loved the movie and it had a good message, I thought.

It was the best way to relax after a crazy day; thanks to my husband for taking care of me!

Tuesdays With Mom

Since last fall we have been lucky enough to see Grandma once a week! She lives an hour away so it's usually less often, but in September she joined a Bible study that meets just down the road from us on Wednesday mornings. She also auditioned for and got into the Sweet Adelines, a singing group that meets in this area on Tuesday nights. This is what I had envisioned us doing when she was here . . .

* scrapbooking
* baking ahead
* going to the fabric store and (me) learning more about sewing
This is more like it . . .

* getting mauled by kids (her)
* sitting and talking for a few minutes late Tuesday nights
* scrambling to make the basic peanut butter sandwiches, toast, and the like

But . . . I'm not complaining. I never realized until I became a mom myself how much I would covet the time I get with my own mom. It doesn't really matter what we're doing; it's just fun to get together!

Solutions

The last several months we've been struggling with Bubba's toileting. He does a fantastic job all day long, with the exception of when he immediately gets up from nap. About three to four days a week I have gone in to wake him and he's sitting in his closet, with poop smeared all over the floor and walls. (Sorry for the graphic description, it's hard to make that sound better.) We felt like we had tried everything to stop it. I was checking his room every 10 minutes and he was being consistently disciplined. Then when we did the SIB-R the woman who administered it said it's really common for autistic kids to do this. She said it's probably a "stim" for him (shorthand for self-stimulation), or something he does to help him with his sensory input.

So, I got to thinking. If he was seeking sensory input at the same time every day, was there something I could give him to substitute for what he was doing? I thought about playdough, but surprisingly it's not his favorite thing. Then I remembered my Scentsy candles. A few months back I hosted a party and it did well enough that I got five Scentsy bricks. Bubba L.O.V.E.S. to smell them. He will go in the pantry, get them out, take them to his spot at the table, and sniff. It was worth a shot. Well, it has been one week and he has not pooped in his closet! Every day I get him up, praise him for not pottying in the closet, and bring him downstairs to the "Scentsy Spread". :) He sits and sniffs and scratches his fingernails through the candles for probably half an hour. He makes a little bit of a mess, but hey, it's SO much better than the alternative! Yay for good-smelling candles!

Up, Up and Away!

Samantha has gotten tired of regular crawling and decided to tackle the stairs. Now where did that baby gate go?!

January Happenings

* Celebrated the 8th birthday of our Spunky! Her wishes for her birthday included enchaladas, chocolate cake, canvases to paint on, and time with a couple of special friends at an indoor play place.

* Had Bubba's second SIB-R, which is like an evaluation of his skills to see if he still qualifies for services. He scored high in moter skills but extremely low in his social/language skills. His developmental age is that of a child who is 2 years, 1 month old.

* Made pumpkin bread with the kids and accidently only put in half the amount of sugar. Surprisingly, they ate it up just as quickly as usual!

* Speaking of cooking, we are seriously considering going on the gluten-free, casein-free diet for the boy. We never even considered it until we kept hearing parents of children with autism raving about how much it has helped their kids. I don't want to put too much hope in it, but I am very curious. I'll be writing more about the process soon.

* Got a VERY special delivery this week: six yards of a high-quality canvas to paint on! Ethan is gearing up to build some frames to stretch it over. If you ever wonder why it costs so much to buy original art, it's because the supplies are so incredibly expensive. It's crazy. I've used student-grade paints for a long time and am moving into using artist-grade; I know the investment will be worth it but holy cow . . . it's expensive.

* We're watching the final season of Lost. I was about ready to give up on the whole thing out of frustration but it's starting to get interesting. Any Lost fans out there? I really, really am hoping they will answer all the questions by the finale.

Another Book Review (with a caution)

House Rules by Jodi Picoult

An autistic teenage boy who loves forensics becomes the center of suspicion in a murder. I'm actually not done with this book but I really wanted to share it because it is SO accurate. Not every detail is exactly like our experience but the overall picture is. The main character in the book is 18 years old and he has Asperger's Syndrome. I have heard some say that Asperger's is on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum and others have said that Asperger's is something seperate from autism. So I don't know for sure. But as far as this book is concerned, I felt that the author expressed each individual's experiences so well. I (obviously) related so well to the mom. There are things I've never even been able to express to my own best friend, my hubby. He's in this journey too, and sometimes we just look at each other and say "This is REALLY hard. I don't think I can do this anymore." One daily reality for us is dealing with Bubba when he goes into a meltdown. Here's an excerpt from the book that is so true:

"Dealing with an autistic meltdown is like dealing with a tornado. Once you are close enough to see it coming, there's nothing to do but weather the storm. Unlike a child having a temper tantrum, Jacob doesn't care is his behaviour is making me react. He doesn't make sure he's not hurting himself. He isn't doing it in order to get something. In fact, he's not in control of himself at all. And unlike when he was four or five, I'm not big enough to control him anymore."

What we don't see in Bubba that was evident in this story is the language. More than ever lately he has been making these strange sounds with his mouth. It's almost like what you would do to entertain a baby. He is gaining in the language department over time, but I continually wonder if we will ever have a real conversation. I love him so much it hurts. I just want to connect with him.

I put this book out there with a caution, because it does contain some language. I generally hate/don't read anything with language in it, but I feel like this book is helping me to understand my feelings about our situation so much better.

New Book Review

It has been forever since I've shared a book recommendation, but I've been reading a ton lately and have some really good ones.

"Her Mother's Hope" and "Her Daughter's Dream" by Francine Rivers

These two books follow the women of a family from the beginning of WWI through present day. "Her Mother's Hope" begins with the story of Marta as she leaves her difficult childhood behind in Switzerland. She travels and learns from many skilled cooks and housekeepers as she pursues her dream to run her own hotel. She meets a man, marries, and halfway through the book the story is told from her daughter Hildemara's point of view.

In "Her Daughter's Dream," Hildemara has had a daughter, Caroline. The first half of the book is told through Caroline's eyes, as she struggles with her relationship with her mother. She has a daughter, May Flower Dawn, and the second half of the book is told through Dawn's eyes.

Common themes in these books are misunderstandings between mothers and daughters and sacrificial love. They are based on the real life saga of the author's family. I was so moved when I read them; it made me want to express how much the women in my family mean to me. It made me wish my grandma was still here. And more than anything, I appreciated the blessed childhood I had.

"Left To Tell" by Imaculee Ilibagiza

This is a true story of one woman who survived the horrifying slaughter of almost one million people in Rwanda. As a Tutsi, she was hunted by the Hutus and hid in a tiny bathroom with 7 other women for 91 days. Almost her entire family was killed. But in spite of the horror and hate, she grew closer to God and forgave her family's killers.

This book was so eye-opening to me. I was fourteen when this happened, and I really had no idea what was going on. I'm so grateful for our freedom and safety in this country but wish I had known; had been able to do something. This is another book that is very inspiring!

Reopening my Etsy Shop

After doing the last painting for Julie I had such a longing to get back into my favorite hobby. I started these pieces a year ago (before the hospital stay) and just finished them up. I've had an etsy shop now for three years but I haven't put any paintings in it in forever. Everything I put in there originally sold locally, so I would like to get in gear and stock it up again.

Do you notice the problem with these canvases? Yeah, the one in the middle is 1/2 inch longer than the other two. I bought all three together; can't believe I didn't notice. Ethan is going to start building canvases so we can avoid this and save money! I'm trying to decide if I should sell the matched two together and the other one on it's own, or just skip the whole thing. What do you think?