Today Ethan and I went to the funeral home to settle some details. I am so grateful we didn't have to pick out a casket. They just showed us a picture of what it would look like. It's white and really soft inside. Not something I ever thought I would need to look at.
We also went to the cemetary we chose and found a spot for Isaac to be buried. There is a whole section called "Baby Land". How sad is that? But there actually aren't many spots taken, thankfully.
At the funeral home we talked about writing the obituary, what to do for a grave marker, what his memorial service would look like, etc. I didn't know there would be so much to decide.
We have been so surrounded by people that by the end of the day I realize I haven't let myself go. It's not that I'm trying to avoid thinking about it; it's just the reality of being surrounded by people. Now when I'm alone is when I fall apart. I hold the blanket we held him in and just sob. I wonder how long this will go on?
11 comments:
Oh Kimberly. Allow yourself to sob, sweetie. Let it out. Let yourself fall apart for the time being --- it's okay.
Dionna's right. It's ok to break down. I'm so very sorry you are having to go through this. Unfortunately there is no "ending", but it will get easier over time. We love you!
Love You guys & praying for you. May you grieve well!
Time doesn't heal all wounds but it will make them bearable. there will always be a spot in your heart for isaac and that will never go away. sob for weeks or months if you need to. don't think there is a certain time when you should be done grieving. you are going through a tramatic thing and need to let your feelings out no matter what they are, where you are or who you are with. people may not know what to say to you but they want to be there for you to hold you and listen. let them. you are in my prayers, kimberly.
I can't imagine how enormous your grief is. I'm praying for God's deep grace to surround your family.
I feel horrible for you guys. I can't fathom your grieve right now. There are many people thinking and praying for you guys at this time. It does show the love that people have for you. Please let us know if there is anything I we can do.
Kimberly, my heart just aches for you guys. I have been in constant prayer for you guys and will continue to be. I think Dionna said it well. Allow yourself to hold that blanket and just sob. It is o.k. I pray the Lord's mightly healing hand will be wrapped around your family and your hearts. Grab ahold of that hand and allow Him to bandage those wounds. Give yourself time. We will continue to lift you up in prayer but if there is anything else we can do please let us know. We love you!!
I didn't know there was a special place in the cemetery for babies. I hope that you can find the time to do all that you need to. Love & prayers.
Oh Kimberly, my heart is still breaking for you. I am so sorry you are having to make all those decisions. How hard it must be. I am praying for you and that you will find comfort, strength, and healing in the Lord. He will get you through this. I love you!
Kimberly, I wish I could tell you when the pain would stop. I don't know that it ever goes away but I do know that you are surrounded by people that love and care about you. Isaac is in the arms of God and one day you will hold him again. There is hope in our God even in times like these when nothing makes any sense. I am praying for God to give you peace and to ease this pain for you.
Quyann
i just want to tell you how much i appreciate your honesty. it actually allows us all to go through this journey with you in a very real way which i think is what we all want...to carry this burden with you. you are NOT alone. we love you all so much. you are a blessing a ministry to us all. i will keep praying for healing and strength
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