One Year Old

It's so hard to believe our little baby would be one year old today. I really feel like it was just a few weeks ago that we were facing the greatest nightmare we'd ever face. About this time one year ago we were checked into the hospital and they were giving me something to get labor started. We could have waited to go into labor naturally but I couldn't imagine walking around for days knowing my little one was already gone.

This morning some kind friends watched our kids so we could take care of something that has been burdening me for so long; we ordered Isaac's gravestone! I have HATED not having a place to leave flowers or visit. We would have done it sooner but it's a few hundred dollars just to get the basics, so we had to save up. We are so thrilled that they will be making a temporary sandstone marker while his permanent one is created. After the permanent one is in we can take the temporary one home and put in in a special place in our yard.

After visiting the monument company we stopped in Babyland to sit by his grave for a while. I didn't really think I'd cry but I did. It wasn't even so much just for us but for all the parents who have little ones there. It's hard to read all the graves that say "our precious daughter" and "beloved brother" without getting choked up. Life is so hard sometimes.

I want to thank all of you who have been praying for us today. We appreciate and love you!

Drama, Drama, Drama!

Even though Ethan works from home, he can't take care of the kids and I during the day right now while I'm so sick. So we have come to visit my parents at their house.

My doctor approved a home health care nurse to come out and put an iv in each day so I could stop going to the hospital every few days. So Monday night this nurse came out and started explaining what I would need to do every day with the iv. Then she tried to get it started.

I debated whether or not to share this story on my blog because it's kind of embarrassing, but then I thought of my friend Kelly and how she shared the story of what happened when her little boy literally "broke her face". So, with that in mind, here goes . . .

I wasn't feeling good to start on Monday night and the first two attempts to get the iv in went really badly. She would insert the needle and then probe to "find" where my vein had disappeared to; the whole time my stomach is churning. On the third attempt I told her I felt really sick. I laid my head down on the table and that was the last thing I remember. When I came to my mom was standing over me crying and calling for my dad and the nurse was taking a blood pressure cuff off. Apparently after I laid my head down my mom looked at my arm and it had turned gray. She then saw me go into convulsions and I passed out and fell onto their wood floor. (I'm so glad I don't remember that part!) When I came to I started throwing up. And here I'm thinking, okay, this is definitely a low point in my life. Laying on my parent's kitchen floor too sick to even lift my head and throw up in a dignified way! Oh, fun times.

The nurse finally got the iv in on the fifth attempt. I know people pass out sometimes when getting iv's, but I don't know that convulsions are normal or what caused that. I will be SO grateful when this stage of pregnancy is over!

Like a Bug

Laying in bed last night, I came to the disconcerting realization that every time I fall asleep I am most comfortable in the position of a bug hitting a windshield. Yeah, you read that right. I remember having a discussion about sleeping positions many years ago with my dear friend Amber. She knew somebody who always slept like a model. You know, hands folded under the cheek, pleasant smile on her face. Ha.

I'm most comfortable laying on my stomach with arms and legs splayed wherever and head twisted at an extreme angle. Poor Ethan. This is why we chose a king-size bed when we had to replace ours a few years ago. I'm sure I'm some chiropractor's dream right now, but he's gonna have to wait. No one is talking me out of my favorite sleeping position!

How about you? How do YOU fall asleep?

Wrong Number!

Thank you to everyone for being so kind and encouraging. I'm thinking there's a possibility that I may be back in the hospital later today, so I'm going to get a blog post in here while I can!

I'm wondering if any of you smart ladies out there have a bit of advice. We have had our current home phone number for six years now, yet we regularly get calls for someone named Candice Waldren. It's always collecters calling too. Grrr. This morning I explained again that there is NOT a Candice at this phone number and to please not call us again. We took caller id off a while back to save a little bit of money, so I never know who it's going to be.

Anyone know if there's a way to stop these calls?

Surprise!

This is why I haven't been posting very much lately!

We are almost eight weeks along. I was going to wait until the end of the first trimester but I have been SICK. Sick enough to spend four days in the hospital last week. I have something called hyperemesis gravidarum. I found this helpful website about it. Basically it means I can't eat or drink enough. I have horrible nausea and even the slightest smell makes me sick. I lost almost 10 lbs. in the last 2 weeks. I wish I could eat; definitely. They discharged me from the hospital because they couldn't do anything else. I'm just trying to drink enough to keep from having to go back and get an iv again. :(

But enough complaining. We're having a baby! Yay! We are so very ecstatic. I'm not scared because I know what happened to Isaac was very rare. It wasn't genetic; it was just a cord accident. I think being pregnant again has been very helpful to our healing process. I can't wait to hold our baby in March!

Book Review Friday

Adult Fiction

"Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers

So I'm not much of a girly-girl in the fact that I really don't like love stories. But this book is an exception. This is a retelling of the book of Hosea in the Bible, and it is powerful! When you read it, think of the love shown in this story of how God loves you personally, and you'll never view your relationship with Him the same way again.

Another good read or two by this same author is:

"And the Shofar Blew"
"Mark of the Lion" series (3 books)
"Atonement Child"

Book Review Friday

Adult Fiction

"At Home In Mitford" by Jan Karon

These books are quite popular so you may have already read one of more of them. This is the kind of book to read while you curl up in front of the fireplace with a cup of hot chocolate. It tells the story of life in a small town where mysteries and miracles happen. "At Home In Mitford" is the first book in a series of nine.