Does It Come with a Yarmulke?

My parents went out this week and bought themselves a Jewish refrigerator.

It all started on Christmas day. 

We have an absurd and frightening tradition of burning the sweet potatoes for major holidays.  Not every year, no.  That would be too predictable.  Yet on a fairly regular basis, the potatoes come out blazing.

This Christmas was like every other.  The kids were happily curled up with a movie while final dinner preparations were being made.  Some of us were visiting in the living room, when suddenly the loudest noise I've ever heard came out of my mom's kitchen. 

I'll be honest.  It scared the crap out of me.

We raced out there to find my dad staring at the oven with an incredulous look on his face. 

"What happened?!" we asked.

"An electric current just shot out of the oven," my brother answered, as he casually sat at the counter.

And it had.  Electricity had shot out, hit the door of the oven, and returned to it's fiery lair. 

My dad still hadn't spoken.  I examined his face carefully.  He appeared to still have both eyebrows and all of the remaining hair.  My heart slowed.

Apparently the oven had shorted while it was doing what, you may ask?  Broiling the topping on the SWEET POTATOES.  Of course.

After the circuit was shut down, someone reached in and gingerly removed the pan.  The marshmallow-y topping quivered, unscorched.

It was a Christmas miracle.

The rest of the day was fairly non-explosive, which was good.  Fast-forward to Wednesday, when my popped by while she was in town.

"Did I tell you Dad and I found a new oven?"

"Mmm, that's nice."

"And while we were there we decided to buy a new fridge too."

"Hmm."

"It's all stainless steel, and we're thinking it's not going to match the microwave so we may have to replace that."

"Right.  Makes sense."

"Did I mention that my fridge is Jewish?"

"Your WHAT is WHAT?"

Now she had my attention.  My mom can be goofy, but she had hit a new height of bizarreness.

"My refrigerator is Jewish.  It has settings for the Sabbath."

And she wasn't kidding.  It turns out that they can flip a "Sabbath" switch anytime they decide to.  It will turn off certain parts of the fridge in observance of Jewish law.  I mulled this over for a minute, before speaking.

"I'm guessing it's not circumcised?"

"KIMBERLY!"

"Sorry, I couldn't resist."