12 Weeks: Day 13

Today was an interesting and not-great day. Ethan brought the kids by for a few minutes after church to say hello. He had to play this morning so they had been up and running since about 7:00. He needed to get lunch into their little tummies and get them to bed for a nap by 1:30. Well, he didn't end up getting out of here until nearly 1:30, and was back 10 minutes later with the kids in tow. It turned out the Jeep wouldn't start; it was some problem with the battery terminal. So there we were . . . the kids hadn't eaten, Ethan didn't even have a coat or tools, it was naptime for everyone. Without going into all the boring details, they finally all ended up getting home by 4:30. The kids had eaten by then; thank goodness. My mother-in-law arrived and took the kids across the street to McDonalds. She had a time of it too. While there, she got a call from her mom who was in tears over Ethan's grandpa passing away, and while on the phone with her Emily bit into something and lost her first tooth! There was blood gushing everywhere and then Ryan ran into a table or something and about knocked himself out. Allie was the only one not crying, I think.

Aaaaaahh. Life. It was frustrating to know all this drama was going on and not be able to help anyone or do anything. I'm trying to get used to that. At least I can always pray for them!

12 Weeks: Day 12

For the first time since being here I heard a page for a Code Blue last night. Obviously it's a recorded voice, but the man speaking sounded like he was sitting in his parlor drinking tea. A very calm and collected tone that didn't relay the urgency of the moment. I thought it was on my floor until a nurse told me the page goes out all over the hospital. It happened in the middle of the night.

12 Weeks: Day 11

Friday must be a good errand-running day, because I was fortunate to have lots of visitors today. It was neat because everyone seemed to bring a little something that was comforting; books, magazines, cards, and even Christmas decorations for my room! I feel so blessed. :)

Today is the first day that I won't be able to see my sweet kiddos and husband. Luckily they will be out tomorrow early in the day.

Had to pause this post for a bit to visit with some friends. I just realized that it's good that I like to read, because I now have 17 books sitting on the shelf!

12 Weeks: Day 10

Today has been a pleasant day here at my day spa. I've decided to think of it that way. I mean, after all, I do have chefs and nurses at my bidding. :) Every time I take a relaxing bath someone puts fresh sheets on the bed. There's cable tv and a list of movies here on the floor. I may even miss this place when it's time to leave! (NOT)

I ran out of clean pajamas today and had to go back to the hospital gown. It seriously feels like you're wrapping yourself in a tent. At least it's pink! Ethan got after me (in a sweet way) about not reminding him to bring me clean stuff, but I really didn't want to bug him with this detail. He has been overwhelmed with work, our new situation, and his grandpa passing away Tuesday night. It's hard being here because of the loneliness, being woken up at night every night to do vitals, and not feeling like I have much privacy. But my heart really hurts for my hubby, because he has soooo much on his shoulders right now. He has barely seen the kids this week. They are all coming in together tonight and we plan to have a VERY good time!

12 Weeks: Day 9

A few friends have asked what exactly the situation is and what's going on. I'm certainly no expert and am still learning, but placenta previa means that your placenta is low-lying and usually touching or covering some part of the cervix. With a complete previa, like I have, the placenta completely covers the cervix. When this is what they find on an ultrasound, it's much less likely that the placenta will move (like it often does with a partial previa), meaning that a c-section is inevitable. Because the placenta isn't attached to anything, there are all these blood vessels just hanging there on the underside. They don't know exactly what causes the bleeding, but some thoughts are that the weight of the baby can lead to it, or certain activities. Once you bleed for the first time, or the "centinal bleed", you are at a much increased risk of bleeding again, and they may not be able to stop it the second time. There are women who actually have to continuously get transfusions until the baby is mature enough to be born. Obviously it's not ideal to be getting transfusions for a long period of time, so if the hemmorhage is going to happen it's better to have it happen as late as possible in the pregnancy. The only way to stop the bleeding is to remove the placenta.

Okay, I hope that somewhat answers questions. And I really hope I didn't relay any false information, because like I said, I'm still figuring it out. :)


On a lighter note, I have to share a very vivid dream I had last night. I dreamed that Ty Pennington and the Extreme Makeover team chose us for their Home Edition. When it was time for the big reveal they had finished our baby nursery. It was done with a buttercream color on the walls and cranberry, light pink, and brown bedding. The other room in my dream was our playroom, which had been made to look exactly like my hospital room! For some reason that really thrilled me during the dream. Craziness.

12 Weeks: Day 8

I really wish I was writing about something like our trip to Disneyland or the latest fun project we've tackled, but unfortunately that's not the case. It's only noon today, and my heart is so heavy. I think everything is sinking in today. My dr. came in this morning when Ethan was here and asked if we had any questions. One thing Ethan had been wondering about was what my chances were of dying here in the hospital when we're so close to the OR and everything. I thought it was silly to ask, and assumed that my dr. would laugh and say, "Oh, she's at no risk." Nope. She was completely serious when she answered and said she had been discussing my situation with another colleague and debating a few issues. One issue was whether I should have one i.v. site or two. I was really hoping to avoid having an i.v. but she explained when you start losing blood very quickly it can be very difficult to get an i.v. started. Another issue they were discussing involved keeping my blood type (A positive) or O positive and negative close by. I guess it takes half an hour to to get the blood from the lab downstairs. We talked about Ethan giving blood because he's O negative, although I couldn't just get his blood in a transfusion because it doesn't work that way. (Basicallly it would just be helpful if he gave because there would be more of the kind I can get in the blood bank.) What else was there? Oh, yeah . . . they will test my blood every few days to do a "cross-match" with what they have. I'm not sure why this is important but whatever. :)

Before today I felt like I was just "humoring" my dr. and Ethan by willingly going along with what I was supposed to do. Now I think I'm understanding more of how Ethan feels and why he gets upset when I don't take it very seriously. He won't have to worry about that anymore; I GET IT! :) (finally)

12 Weeks: Day 7

Cyber Monday. Kind of boring around here today. I started thinking about Isaac last night and really had trouble getting to sleep. I'm just a few rooms down the hall from where he was born, and now that I'm learning more about how everything works around here I started thinking about where he went when he wasn't in the room with us, etc. I still think of what it would be like if I could hold him one more time. Anyway, I don't think I fell asleep until after 3:00 a.m. At least it's easy to catch up on lost sleep here!